It's been immortalized on radio morning shows such as Dave and Carole and Kramp and Adler ... here's this week's installment of strange and incredible suburban crime, OMG PD. 

“I’ll get the door, Mom!”

This could have been much, much funnier if he hadn’t canceled the dancers.

That’s not a pool toy

Boots is on the loose. Sleep well, Caledonia.

Hope Boots doesn’t see him

If this man was “not trying to bother anybody,” he was doing a lousy job of being discreet. 

Gun > Swiffer

After this experience, two housecleaners probably have one more mess to clean up.

"No, you settle down!"

This is the first and probably only installment of a new reality series, “When Patch Editors Go Grocery Shopping and Happen Upon an Alleged Shoplifter.”

Stuff People in Trouble Say, Vol. 4,529

It makes sense. Gas often is just free for the taking.

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The above items are from reports from local police departments. In all incidents where an arrest occurred, a charge is merely an accusation and not evidence of guilt. The arrested person is presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.